Small and Long Chats

Lately, I have been blessed in meeting all sorts of people that made my day much better.

I will tell you the people who lid me up this past week.

1. Dhee and Julez

These two girls have been my dearest friends since forever. More than 10 years, these girls has made me laugh and smile through my days of growing up. We don’t regularly meet, but when we do, we would already have these precious moments that I cannot really describe in words. They have been there for me, at times when I need them. Never have they thought of me as anyone stranger than life, as they have accepted me the way I am today, and will always be. Julez is in Jakarta at the moment, while waiting on her break-through of her digital e-book and as for Dhee, the newly wed and already pregnant, is working her way in finishing her school, also teaching English in a nearby campus in Jakarta. We, three, have reunited after an absence of 8 years. Definitely enjoyed the day in one of the oldest mall in J-town, and continued with a half an hour photo session back in my place for old time sakes. We will be meeting again soon this coming week before Julez goes back to Riau, where she lives. This small rendezvous was a very very fun one.

2. My uncle, Om Iwan (“Om” is “Uncle” in Indonesian)

This is my favorite uncle whose a pilot from my dad’s side.He is one of the excellent pilots of Garuda Indonesia, and has brought many planes from Seattle to Indonesia. (That’s something huh.) He has always been the most exciting, adventurous and kindest uncle that ever lived. When I was still a kid, he would always kidnap me to go out of the city to have an adventure… Whether it was going to the beach to chill and eat barbecue fish and drink coconut right from the tree or even just chilling, watching the latest movie in the theaters. He has always been a very happy person. And as years gone by, we had connected again through the same hobby that we both have, which is photography.  So one day, I introduced him to Toble (if you read my previous blogs) , and we exchanged our love for cameras and I notice he had a hand-grip strap for his camera, which I have been looking for. After a while we haven’t met for quite a while, he says to pick something from his house, and it was a hand-grip strap! AHH!! Awesomeness.

So he told me to drop by his place to get it anytime I can. Knowing that he usually flies off to who knows where, sometimes, to Europe, or Australia, Japan. I would never know whether he’s in town or not. I decided to drop by one day. Didn’t expected him to be home, but as I was leaving after receiving the small gift, he drives in his garage just in time to chat with me. It was nice to talk to him again. Always admired him since I was a kid. Told him to ask my dad to go cycling on Sundays. He gladly agreed to it and asked my dad to join him that Sunday morning.

3. Mba Dinar (“Mba” is called “Sister” in Indonesian)

A lovely working mother of two whom I met because a dear friend Afra, referred me to her as a freelance writer. Mba Dinar needed someone to write for her upcoming website next year, and needed someone who can connect and share her vision, translating it all to an inspirational journey. After all the bbm texts, phone calls, only-one-time meeting, we met again for the second time for a 2 hour interview. If I was going to write about her, I needed all the information I can get by asking her questions of her visions and dreams about her new upcoming business plan she was going to make. That Saturday morning, I had a one-to-one session with her in a small coffee shop in Kemang, and thankfully, we had the place to ourselves, where it was just quietly set up for us both. I recorded our conversations through my laptop, enjoyed and exchanged of common principals in life. She had a great desire to help others and to come across someone like her is very hard to find these days. A soft, melancholic lady with a heart of gold for me, she was a figure of a big sister I long wanted. A person with gave you the touch of words that made you feel good about yourself and never tried hard to please  you.

Our conversations had lifted my heart, my own desires in life. Funny thing is that I felt really connected to this lady that I have only known for a couple of days. I only prayed under my breath that she will be the one of my mentors in life. 🙂

4. Ibu Nuning (“Ibu” is “Mrs / Madam” in Indonesian) 

Last Sunday, I paid a visit to SOS Children’s Village again to also donate my old books and toys to the kids there, and met Ibu Nuning. A lady who has been working for SOS and the kids for 27 years now. I thought she was amazing, her love towards the kids and her job has made me look upon myself and wonder if I’ll ever find that strength to go through this life. Sharing small chats, and discovering that she has already lived without her husband by her side for 13 years,but only because her husband is also working for the SOS Children Villages in Semarang, Central Java. They have this long distance marriage, and still working along fine. She said she prayed every night for strength to do as she was destined to do. And thankfully, until today, there hasn’t a day gone by that she has regret her decision. Every month she will have at least one time to go visit her husband in Semarang, but that she has gone through for 13 years. I can never imagine what she is going through, but I am so sure, she is blessed and well taken care of by God himself. God bless her for her love towards the things she goes through in life.

So these are the people I’ve come across last week, that has given me more meaning to my life. These small and long chats are the fruits of my life that I never replace… Thank you God…

Small and Long Chats

Have I told you?

Have I told you that I have always believed that as much as I love taking photographs… I know that it will be the death of me too… I live and die for photographs… memories and moments I know I can never erase through photographs… I am addicted to reliving the glory days of a certain moment or event. It keeps me sane and alive.

This also goes to my writings as well. As I grow older, I realize how depended I am to writing about everything. The things I experienced or felt, most of them have been written, and therefore, I am still clinging to the past like a maniac retard, and yet, I’ve never felt so much alive than ever. Appreciating every moment that ever happened in my life and to be able to read it over again, is just a blessing. For me.

At this very moment, my heart is aching (in a good way) aching because it all happened. The pictures I went through, it all happened and had passed by just like that. It was crazy, recklessly fun. It was hell of a ride. And tell you what, it feels pretty damn good! Hahaha. I can laugh at my own foolishness and naiveness. No one else can. Only me, myself and I.

Which brings me to the point where I don’t really care of what people think nowadays about me. I’ve done quite enough to try to impress.

Now I just want to be.

And let me say it again, photographs and writings till I die. 🙂

Have I told you?


“You were the one who left me, 

Now why you’re the one who cast me away?”

These thoughts of mine, haunt me as a question unanswered… randomly thinking of an old friend, when one time we dated and now, because he is dating someone else, he doesn’t talk to me anymore. Its sad and to come think of it, we were friends first, even before we dated. Why can’t we just go back to those time? I’ve long forgotten of the times we’ve dated, but my goodness, we were so naive back then… please…. but hey, I guess when someone just doesn’t want to talk anymore.. well, then, what can I do, can I…

Because of these thoughts, I begin to wonder again, I want to be as poetic as I was when I was younger. I got traumatized by a statement of a friend that says I was too sensitive. But then the key to who I really was, was just sensitive. To be romantic and playful with words and my goodness I miss the epiphany of a moving motion and thoughts…

So here I am, digging deeper to open free of the feelings that had lead me to this very day, to be… well, me.


There Is

“Those notes you wrote me
I’ve kept them all
I’ve given a lot of thought
of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter
in every single word
There will be a hidden message
about a boy that loves a girl

Do you care if I
Don’t know what to say
Will you sleep tonight
Or will you think of me
Will I shake this off
Pretend its all okay
That there’s someone out there
Who feels just like me
There is”

Took these words from Box Car Racer’s song – There Is… the glory days when I was still in my college days, one of the greatest songs that tells the story of my life. And until today, i still think sometimes exactly what these words are saying…

I too sometimes wonder, when I become a mom and have kids of my own, will I still be liking these type of genre music ? Hhahaha.. it’s so random. But it never fails for me. I still love this song…

There Is

Sadness to Reasoning

As the rain drops its soft waters among the earth, there’s a bit of sadness that fills the air.

Someone visited me today at my office doorstep, it was mas Ary, the owner of the small coffee shop I wrote about earlier in my blog. it so happens a week ago, they were dropped a bomb about their rent for space was raised beginning of this July. Without any consideration, they had to leave, because they also did not have the money yet to keep it as their small coffee shop has not really met amends financially. But with much disappointed and hurt, Mas Ary and Ajeng decided to close the small coffee shop and move to another place to find a much cheaper rent of space.

To be honest, I don’t know how to feel about this. Because this space we’re staying in, is owned by my relatives from my mom side. I highly respect them, and also mas Ary and Ajeng too for their ambition to make this small coffee shop work. But at this time, either both sides can see the real reasoning to the decision that needs to be made. They all have their reasons. Both sides have their reasons, reasons to be sad and betrayed, or reasons to increase the rent because they have to keep a living and mouths to feed. We all have the freedom to think else wise. We can never be in tune all the time, and ties can also fall apart. Nothing is forever. And well, we’re on our own at times. Nothing you can do about it… Nothing you can say about it.  We’re entitled to feel of what we feel and also fight for what we believe is the best way to the whole lot of us.

This time, I can’t wish for anything, but only the best of both sides. Because I know they have their own reasons for their own good. Their own purposes in life, I might be talking gibberish, but that’s what i’m trying to understand and how I see it through my eyes of this whole thing.

I’m sad that the small coffee shop has to shut down, and this place won’t be the place for them to go on and be better. But at least, i know its the best thing they can do for now.

Sadness to Reasoning

Lately, my absence gave me, this.

Man, i’m really not good at this writing in the blog thing, huh? Haven’t written in like 2 months or so. A lot have been going on and had no time to just be alone and work on my life. So center-minded, until to the part i have neglected my one true identity which is writing. crap.

So lots have been going now. the last time i wrote in the blog, again was my complaint about how i felt about life and bla bla bla… but i kinda got better, and now down the road again.

One achievement I got was that my photographs were actually posted in a website called “Girlsophy”/ . This website was originally a book I’ve been reading since I was in Junior High. Mom bought it for me. It was a book about self-discovery + soul survival to young girls out there filled with life’s philosophy but through the eyes of a girl. This book has given me so much about life. And I often still open up the pages to this book to remind myself about the lessons that we need to all go through.

This brought me to look up in the net, and find out what has Girlosophy have got to offer and turns out they have a website specializing on every thing you need to know for young girls out there. It was really something for me, and I wondered how it would be like to work for them, so I just posted a comment about wanting to work with them. Surprisingly they replied and offered me to write to them about anything. So I did. First, I wrote to them about my trip to Tulehu, a small village in the Maluku Islands on the east of Indonesia. Was there on a research about the village and a set of young soccer champions there and they said it wasn’t too strong enough, but they were amazed with the pictures I took there so I sent them a few and they thought it was superb for their website. So I was already contributing for them with my pictures. Here’s a link for you to see it :

Now I’m one of their contributors, and well, i’m in their page too!  Wonderful huh? Never thought I’d be a part of them really. Never imagined it, but I did feel like I had a great connection with Girlosophy, and I was so thrilled, I was given this opportunity to contribute to the world. I only wish, I can do more to help and contribute soon. Maybe right now, I haven’t really gotten the time yet. But I know I’ll always refer back to them as Girlosophy has been a part of me too, in some way. 

Lately, my absence gave me, this.